Ephemera
“In these pictures we see with heart-breaking intensity William’s efforts to explain his altered self, his fears and his sadness.”
-Patrica Utermohlen
-Patrica Utermohlen
Memory
Video
November 2016
Video
November 2016
Using photographs and video I made this piece to demonstrate the loss of memory over time. This piece was inspired by William Uthermohlen and his series of self portraits that were created to show how Alzheimer’s diseased changed him.Using this as inspiration I took a series of photographs of 2 specific photographs over time. While it progresses you can see the photos fading, symbolizing the memory decaying.
Historical Investigation
Claude Monet was an impressionist painter who focused on how light and shadow effected color. Monet is seen as one of the founders of the Impressionist movement. Impressionism is depicted as a movement with radical colors, and the creation of art that work give an impression of reality. They discovered that no color was permanent and that it could change depending on what else was going on in the world at the time. Impressionists used swatches of color next to each other to create a more intense color. Monet is best known for his use of soft edges and landscapes. His swatches of color changed with his technique when he use longer brush strokes to drag color. I thought about representing the temporariness of color by recreating Monet's "Woman with a Parasol" with rose petals. I then decided that it was not the right project for me, and using William Utermohlen was a better fit with the ideas I wanted to portray.
William Utermohlen was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of 62 years old. Throughout the time of creating his gallery, there is an extreme variation in methods used. He attempted to express all the things he was going through with this disease. He transitioned from a fairly classical style of portrait to more expressionist. As time progresses throughout the series we are able to see how hard that Alzheimer's affected him and his artwork. He wanted to convey his feelings through art, and that he did. Using Utermohlen as an inspiration would allow me to create something that would represent the significance of memory and how it can decay. Most importantly, how involuntarily memory fades. It is seen that Utermohlen was capable of drawing his face very well, but towards the end of his life it seems like he lost the ability. This made me think of all the lost memories that I have, and yearn to try and remember them. When looking through my photo albums I realized that if I did not have these photos, I would not be able to recall the events at all. This deeply made me saddened and I wanted to create something that would show the growth deterioration of my memory.
William Utermohlen was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of 62 years old. Throughout the time of creating his gallery, there is an extreme variation in methods used. He attempted to express all the things he was going through with this disease. He transitioned from a fairly classical style of portrait to more expressionist. As time progresses throughout the series we are able to see how hard that Alzheimer's affected him and his artwork. He wanted to convey his feelings through art, and that he did. Using Utermohlen as an inspiration would allow me to create something that would represent the significance of memory and how it can decay. Most importantly, how involuntarily memory fades. It is seen that Utermohlen was capable of drawing his face very well, but towards the end of his life it seems like he lost the ability. This made me think of all the lost memories that I have, and yearn to try and remember them. When looking through my photo albums I realized that if I did not have these photos, I would not be able to recall the events at all. This deeply made me saddened and I wanted to create something that would show the growth deterioration of my memory.
Collecting Images & Tools
Tools used:
- Scanner (Putting images onto the computer)
- Transparent Film & Printer (To print the images)
- X-ACTO Knife (To cut the Image out of the transparent film)
- Tape (To hang the images in my window)
- iPhone Camera (To record the process)
- Windows Movie Maker (To create the final product/video)
Sketches
For my window I had several ideas on how I should layout the photos. For the first idea I considered creating a collage. I enjoyed all of my photos so much I didn't want to choose just one, so a collage seemed like the best idea. But then I considered how much more dramatic a single photo in a window could be. It would draw more emphasis and attention to a singular memory, rather than being more messy with multiple memories. Lastly, I considered doing two pictures per window. I decided against this because I enjoyed the idea of one picture per window more.
Experimentation
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I experimented with different ways to take the photos, as well as what paper I should use. I looked through my window, and looked into it. I decided that it would be best to photograph the pictures from the inside of my room, looking outside. I much more enjoyed the view from the inside because you could see the life going on in the background. I felt it was very important to show how time would progress as the fading of the piece did, so I pictured it from the inside. I also tried printing these pictures on regular printer paper to see if it would fade better. I disliked how opaque this was and how I had to go outside to view the image how I wanted to see it. This is why I kept with the transparent paper rather than regular thick and opaque printer paper.
When creating the final piece I wanted to find the best way to show what I had been working on. This included experimenting with timing, arrangement, and how frequently to repeat images. I considered repeating the images and making each individual picture's time range from 0.10 second to 3 seconds. I had to try and figure out which timings would be right. I wanted to chose photos that would best show the decay and this meant not necesarrily having them in order. This worked until I realized that you could see trees changing from their summer to fall colors outside. This limited my ablity to rearrange.
When creating the final piece I wanted to find the best way to show what I had been working on. This included experimenting with timing, arrangement, and how frequently to repeat images. I considered repeating the images and making each individual picture's time range from 0.10 second to 3 seconds. I had to try and figure out which timings would be right. I wanted to chose photos that would best show the decay and this meant not necesarrily having them in order. This worked until I realized that you could see trees changing from their summer to fall colors outside. This limited my ablity to rearrange.
Process
Raw
Edited
Editing & Assembling Process
To begin with the process, I looked through childhood photos. After choosing several of my favorites, I scanned and photoshopped them. I added contrast and adjusted the photos so that when printed on transparent film, they would be prominent. Next since I found many images that I enjoyed, choosing which one I enjoyed the most was a hard decision. I chose the two photos because I liked how one of them is a fairly stereotypical photo during winter. It's me and my grandpa who built snowmen when I was a kid. I'm particularly fond of this picture because I actually remember this day and the photo being taken. I next chose the different family photo of me, my dad, and step mom walking away from my grandma's house, on Halloween. I enjoyed that I also had two clear seasons represented. The seasons show two different periods of time that are still significant to me.
After choosing the pictures, I printed them on the transparent paper and cut them with an X-ACTO Knife. I then put these images in my windows using tape. Over the course of about 2 months I watched the photos decay, while photographing this.After I'd reached the time limit for the photos I began to assemble the video. I decided to organize the photos in groups. Group one was of the first image and group two was of the second. Then I made the timing of the photos go from 2 seconds all the way down to 0.25 seconds, and then to 1.50 seconds. This helped to represent the loss of memory, and how even what we can remember, is just a faded idea of what actually happened.
After choosing the pictures, I printed them on the transparent paper and cut them with an X-ACTO Knife. I then put these images in my windows using tape. Over the course of about 2 months I watched the photos decay, while photographing this.After I'd reached the time limit for the photos I began to assemble the video. I decided to organize the photos in groups. Group one was of the first image and group two was of the second. Then I made the timing of the photos go from 2 seconds all the way down to 0.25 seconds, and then to 1.50 seconds. This helped to represent the loss of memory, and how even what we can remember, is just a faded idea of what actually happened.
Reflection & Analysis
The overall product is successful in portraying the theme of this project. Just the idea of a photograph has a great significance to epoeple, especially if it is of them. Taking childhood photos and exposing them to my neighbors probably made them question the significance of it. Exposing my personal photos to someone cannot truly display my emotions. Much like my artist inspiration Uthermohlen, if you don't know myself, my art won't mean much to you. For my family (especially my dad) seemed to enjoy getting to see these photos. Utermohlen's family understood his personal struggles, and seeing his art made them content. Both the photos and Utermohlen's painting series can bring up serious emotions of bittersweet nostalgia. Mine remind my family of life before my grandparent's passing, while his paintings remind the family of how William was before Alzheimer's. Both my piece and Utermohlen's gallery deal with memory and how it can be changed over time. I used photos while he used paintings to display the natural process. While some of us may have the fortune to lose memories slowly or not at all, William did not have that privilege. There was a clear connection made and seen between my artist inspiration and I. The quote at the top of the page: “In these pictures we see with heart-breaking intensity William’s efforts to explain his altered self, his fears and his sadness.” came directly from his wife. It relates to my project because loosing memories is an extreme fear for us. The idea that one day we experience something and the next it may be completely gone is horrifying.
The idea that memory fades isn't as clear as I wished it could be. Without reading or hearing an explanation of the piece, it may at first be hard to interpret. There is a more obvious idea of time going on while you age and mature, while these memories remain. They stay in your head, but they're never quite the same. Either way it's interpreted as, having more pictures to display would have been able to add more character to the project. I think that holistically these piece is still able to convey the theme while remaining personal to myself, and eye-opening to others. If I could redo this project I would use a wider time span to really be able to see how these images could fade over the span over 4 months to maybe even a year. The hardest part about this project was photographing the images since I don't usually arrive home until it's dark outside, which makes the images harder to see. I would look for more opportunities to photograph progess.
The idea that memory fades isn't as clear as I wished it could be. Without reading or hearing an explanation of the piece, it may at first be hard to interpret. There is a more obvious idea of time going on while you age and mature, while these memories remain. They stay in your head, but they're never quite the same. Either way it's interpreted as, having more pictures to display would have been able to add more character to the project. I think that holistically these piece is still able to convey the theme while remaining personal to myself, and eye-opening to others. If I could redo this project I would use a wider time span to really be able to see how these images could fade over the span over 4 months to maybe even a year. The hardest part about this project was photographing the images since I don't usually arrive home until it's dark outside, which makes the images harder to see. I would look for more opportunities to photograph progess.
ACT Connection
1. Using William Utermohlen as my inspiration, I was able to create a peace that represents the decaying of memory.
2. William Utermohlen used art to represent his loss of memory. He started off as a regular artist just doing what he loves when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He continued to draw himself as his memory faded, just like the photos I used faded.
3. Through my research I was able to conclude that although memories fade, people are still able to make the most of what they remember. Alzheimer’s strips one of their memory and in culture we see this as a disability. Utermohlen was able to overcome this and create a gallery that expressed what he was going through.
4. While researching I wanted to look for something that would represent decay. One of the most prominent ideas that popped out to me was the loss of memory, then which I recalled Uthermohlen's work.
5. While conducting research I concluded that memory plays a significant role on our work and what decide to to. There's something beautifully tragic in memories and how they effect us.
2. William Utermohlen used art to represent his loss of memory. He started off as a regular artist just doing what he loves when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He continued to draw himself as his memory faded, just like the photos I used faded.
3. Through my research I was able to conclude that although memories fade, people are still able to make the most of what they remember. Alzheimer’s strips one of their memory and in culture we see this as a disability. Utermohlen was able to overcome this and create a gallery that expressed what he was going through.
4. While researching I wanted to look for something that would represent decay. One of the most prominent ideas that popped out to me was the loss of memory, then which I recalled Uthermohlen's work.
5. While conducting research I concluded that memory plays a significant role on our work and what decide to to. There's something beautifully tragic in memories and how they effect us.